by Camilla Ostrow
If you’re like me, then you know what it’s like to be called a “slut.” And if you’re really like me, you knew what it was like to be called a slut in the seventh grade before either you or the big-fat-bully calling you slut even knew the definition of the word. But if you’re really, really, like me, then you’ve noticed that times have changed for us “sluts.”
We’re no longer the girl wearing red lipstick and pleather corsets selling ourselves for money, nor are we the innocent seventh grader who accidentally stepped on someone’s foot and paid the verbal consequences. These days, it’s no longer, “Hey, you’re a gross slut and I hate you,” but it’s a lot more, “Love ya slut! Wanna get lunch?”
And I’m pretty sure that even if I was alone on all of those other things I mentioned, I’m not alone in wondering, just how the hell has this happened? When did the word I used to cry over while eating stale pizza start appearing in text messages from my best friend? And just how exactly has the feminist in me become immune to the echoing sounds of “You’re a slut and I freaking love you!” or the simple, “Call me later, slut”? Ultimately, I guess even if you can figure out the how or the why, the more important question still remains: Is this new phenomenon that makes light of the term “slut,” blur the line between language that is degrading and language that is acceptable? Is it all okay?
One simple answer: Yes, it’s totally okay! Using “slut” in everyday conversation devalues the word and gives women power, and–in case you haven’t heard– men and women are actually equal. We have equal opportunities in the workplace, domestic life–you name it! Saying “slut” whenever necessary (even if totally irrelevant) is actually just a woman’s way of empowering herself further in this grade-A, sexually-equalized world!
… PLEASE. In case you didn’t catch the sarcasm, I’m going to go ahead right now and give that last paragraph a big “fuck you.” Though to be fair, I do see the logic behind removing the weight from a word used to keep female sexuality at bay in order to debunk the idea of “sluttiness” altogether, and to possibly discover a road to sexual empowerment. But then again, unless you’re literally saying, “I am a slut because I am sexually empowered and I want to use the word to get back at all of the people who have tried to suppress my sexuality,” chances are you really aren’t empowering anyone. And let’s be honest… that drunk girl texting, “HEYYYYheyHEYY u SLUT WHeEeErErEeERE DA PARTIE$$$ @T?!?!” doesn’t normally text with female liberation in mind. Instead, she’s just using a word that has become a part of her everyday vocabulary, and the glaring problem with this is that female liberation just hasn’t come far enough for a word that reinforces the policing of sexuality so outlandishly overused.
In this world, where women are constantly ridiculed for their sexual choices, whether they be called prudes or whores, and in this world, where women are anything but free from sexual objectification, and in THIS world, integrating “slut” into casual conversation does not enforce freedom, but rather, it enforces ignorance. It asks us to make light of the subtle and yet ever-prominent idea that women are merely sexual objects and that their sexuality has to adhere to certain standards. Even more, it asks us to ignore the fact that sexual labeling happens and that its sole purpose is to put women down not just for their sexuality, but in particular for their female sexuality.
So I guess what I’m saying is yes, I absolutely still resent that mega-asshole who called me a slut in the 7th grade. And yes, I am absolutely a slut in the sense that I am sexually empowered and work towards the abolishment of sexual labels and the policing of female desire. But no, I will absolutely NOT respond to your text message and/or casual greeting if includes anything along the lines of “love ya slut ;).”
Thank you for this article. I agree 100% with your opinion! It makes me angry that people throw this term around without really considering the meaning of, and history behind, the word. It would be a different story if someone decides to self-label themselves a slut in recognition of their choice to be sexually liberated, but to throw it around as though we, as women, don’t mind being called something that is ordinarily meant to be degrading and offensive pushes us back to the “women belong in the kitchen” mindset.
Dear Camilla,
Thank you for for your article. I wholeheartedly agree with you. The overuse of the word slut is a child of enlightened feminism. It’s tongue-in-cheek or, worse, presented as false empowerment (I thoroughly enjoyed your sarcasm in paragraph 4) that lurks around as feminism, when in light of day it’s the complete opposite and so harmful to women and men. I’m curious what SPARK thinks of the SlutWalks in Boston, Toronto, and London. I’ve seen a lot of supportive coverage from feminist bloggers and I’m glad it’s an attempt to expose rape culture, but I’m struggling to embrace it. I think subversive language and imagery have served feminism well, but sometimes without dialogue, it just seems demeaning.
I believe the time has come for the term ‘slut’ to be thrown into the trash where it belongs. There are more accurate terms to describe someone who ‘sleeps around’ or is ‘sexually promiscuous’ but I won’t go there. At least, not now. It is very harmful to the rights of women to be called ‘sluts’ because of how they dress in public, at school, or at nightclubs. There is a very sick rape culture in our society that needs to be fought and battled. That being said, I am somewhat troubled by the term ‘sexually liberated.’ Yes, I have heard that term before in the 10 August 2010 Macleans magazine article, “Outraged Moms, Trashy Daughters” where many 12 to 18 year old girls see no problem giving oral sex as readily as a kiss or handshake to make boys like them. Many people will judge me as a prude for saying this but I believe that our current society is morally bankrupt!
The term ‘slut’ is very psychologically damaging to women, especially in light of the ‘RAPE-CULTURE’ that is present in our society. I was present at the 4th of June 2011, ‘Edmonton SLUT-WALK’, and, I will admit, that many of the speeches made by women who said they were ‘sexually assaulted by boyfriends or acqaintances’ are horribly marked by such devastating events!!! From now on I will never use the medieval term ‘SLUT!’ Men and women are sexual equals in society, and the idea of ‘hooking up’ or for both sexes to have ‘friends with benefits’ is no longer considered to be taboo.