by Ria Desai
Earlier this week, Sariel gave us all some pointers about debating in real life. But what do you do when you’re faced with arguing online? 
I like to think know just a little about online debating, especially because my first-ever foray into feminist debate was on a online-debating app that someone at my school created. Even though I personally believe I’m a kick ass debater, I found that real-life debating skills don’t always translate as well online: a lot of emotion and passion can be stripped from an argument, the aspect of face-to-face interaction is removed, and people can always accurately be held accountable for what they’ve previously said.
The debate, on the ridiculously obvious topic of whether or not contemporary American society objectifies girls and women, frustrated me to no end and kept me up well past my bedtime, and at the time I wished I had known how to best approach the situation. Let’s just say that high-school club debaters think they know everything because “they once did a case on that.”
The question that I asked myself the most that night was, “Why am I doing this?” The question is, why do we ever make a point to have our opinion be heard? Yes, there’s a slim chance that you could possibly convince the person you’re debating with, but in some ways I like to think that an internet debate is more than that simply because your argument is public. You’re putting your voice out there for everyone to learn from. I debate online with the mindset that my goal is potentially have someone learn from what I’m saying. I mean that in a totally unpretentious way; plenty of what I’ve learned about feminism has come from the mouths of other feminists. But debates can be taxing, so you have to go into one knowing your goal.
The next time I go into another debate on Facebook or Twitter, I’m going to keep these points in mind:
1. Be emotionally prepared. If you’re motivated enough to spark a online debate, you’re emotionally invested enough to care about the outcome. You have to be mentally prepared like in any another real-life argument. People usually don’t respond well to being disagreed with, and you have to protect your own emotional well-being.
2. Keep it short and sweet. Odds are that your opponent isn’t really paying all that much attention to your argument. (There are even greater odds that your opponent is more focused upon getting you to listen to them, capitulate, or agree with them.) The shorter and more coherent you can be, the better chance you have of convincing anybody who happens to be silently reading the debate.
3. Call for backup if the debate is getting out of hand. It’s always easier to handle personal attacks or downright ignorance when you have vocally supportive friends by your side. I know that SPARK girls always help out each other in these kinds of situations!
4. Try summarizing while linking to articles. What’s great about an internet debate is that many eyes are watching you. If someone is observing instead of participating, they can quite easily come back and look through all the links that you’ve provided, even if the person you’re arguing with never does.
5. Don’t be afraid to call your opponent out! At some point, they may say something that contradicts something they said earlier. It’s just your luck that there’s an accurate record of what was said before, so quote away! They either have to own their hypocrisy and admit their wrongdoing, or (more likely) blindly continue their buffoonery.
6. If things get personal, step away from the debate for a while. Arguments are always heated, and sometimes people can be downright nasty. Don’t waste your time on someone who’s out to hurt you.
7. Know when to end it. Remember that emotions can run high and there is no clear cut winner. It’s up to you to decide when to bring down that banhammer, or the debate might last forever!
The beauty of social media is that it can give a voice to those who were previously denied one. Really, how often do we get to hear the opinions of a teenage feminist in mainstream media? The internet, and debates in specific, give us that chance to express our opinions, assert our intelligence, and potentially reach out to other feminists, even those who have yet come to identify as one. No matter how emotionally spent you may feel after a debate, always remember that no matter what the outcome, you made your voice heard.