By Izzy Labbe
Admit it: You’ve been there. You’re bored, and scrolling down your Facebook news feed, when you see another one of your friends’ post: “Like this status and I’ll give you a rate.” And your mouse hovers above the ‘Like’ button, and all you can do is stare and wonder. Wondering, what would my rating be? How do other people view me? I think I’m pretty…
Well, to tell the truth, that was me five minutes ago. I’m not going to lie; I’m a little bit ashamed of wanting so badly to know how pretty other people think I am. But there was something that kept me from pressing the ‘Like’ button along with so many of my other friends – a responding rate someone had posted about another 13-year-old girl.
To be absolutely frank, it said she was ugly. This girl liked a guy’s status wanting to know how pretty he thought she was, and he shot her down. What was the rate this 13-year-old boy gave to her? -4. A NEGATIVE FOUR.
And that’s why I didn’t press the ‘Like’ button. It’s a selfish reason. I didn’t want to know for fear of being called ugly, for fear of being humiliated, and for all of my 348 friends to see.
If you’re a teenager with a Facebook page, this has most likely happened to you. And it’s not your fault; we all have that sick craving to hear how people actually think of us. But come on! As if walking down the halls in school and having people take you in isn’t enough stress.
Kids are under a lot of pressure nowadays, to look good, to be good, to get good grades. We, as kids, crave praise. And when people keep demanding more out of us, we turn to something – anything — to keep us going and feeling good. And if that comes in the form of being told you’re attractive, that’s what we’ll get.
Looking back on it, maybe I didn’t click it not because I was afraid of getting a bad score, but maybe because I didn’t care. I shouldn’t have to be reduced to a single number by anyone. Being told you’re pretty is amazing, but that shouldn’t be the only thing giving me my self-esteem. And it shouldn’t be yours either. Beauty is not measured in a number, and neither are you.
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Izzy, this is a great post. It’s important to remind everyone that the way other people look at them has no bearing on what sort of person they are or whether or not they’re beautiful. Kids are cruel to one another, and asking to be rated is just one more way to allow other people to define you instead of defining yourself. “Beauty is not measured in a number, and neither are you” – right on.