By Kaye Toal
Dear Jennifer Lawrence, I’m in love with you.
I hope that’s not awkward to admit and that it doesn’t, you know, complicate your day or something. I also hope whoever you’re dating, if you’re dating anyone, doesn’t completely hate me. I’m probably the LEAST threatening person to be confessing my love, anyway, but it had to be said.
See, Jennifer – can I call you Jennifer? – you’ve been doing something really cool and special. You’ve been being yourself. I really, really appreciate that. It seems like it’s a rare thing in Hollywood these days, which of course isn’t anybody’s fault in particular. I certainly can’t bring myself to blame anyone, when being even a little bit bigger than “skeletal” can be a crippling career move and displaying something like a personality can make you labeled as “bitchy” or get you accused of trying to poach your co-star’s girlfriend, like what recently happened with Charlize Theron — because women are constantly in competition with each other, duh!
You’ve been getting a lot of media flak for being yourself, too. I just don’t understand that. I especially don’t understand the crap you’re getting for your body, and originally I was going to go all kamikaze on this blog against those douchebags, but then you did it yourself! Which is freaking amazing! IT’S AMAZING. IT’S SO AMAZING I CAN’T HELP BUT CAPSLOCK ABOUT IT WHENEVER I TALK ABOUT IT, WHETHER IN REAL LIFE OR ON A KEYBOARD. MY ENTIRE BEING TURNS INTO A GIANT ENABLED CAPSLOCK KEY, WHICH I PROMISE IS NOT A WEIRD PICKUP LINE.
I want you to know how important and wonderful it is that you’re standing up for yourself. Women like you (and Ashley Judd!) who speak out against the policing of their bodies are proving to young girls that they don’t have to put up with that kind of crap. From anyone. Ever.
You and I are the same age. THIS BLOWS MY MIND. Maybe you have young cousins like I do, or siblings, or you have at one time interacted with people younger than you are. Personally, I’m a resident peer mentor on my university campus and just the other day one of my freshman residents told me that she feels like it’s okay to be herself, because you are in every interview, on every red carpet, in every way that feels genuine to you.
The effect you’re having is enormous and it’s important: you’re part of a massive franchise where millions of teenage girls want to be Katniss Everdeen, and through your portrayal of her and your strength in interviews you’re letting them know that there’s more to life than having a perfect body or a perfect boyfriend. I just wanted to take a second and give you some support in that. Not everyone is looking at you and thinking “god, this girl is too damn big” or something. Some of us are looking at you and wishing we could a) be you or b) go bowling with you. Sometimes that’s nice to hear, just like sometimes hearing someone respond to “you’re too big for your co-star” with essentially “haha what the hell are you talking about” is really damn nice to hear.
Love, Kaye
P.S. Bowling? Call me.
Dear Kaye,
You rock! I am a 50 year old mother of two girls who are about to turn 11 and 15. I have been dialoguing with them a lot recently about the sexualization, degradation, and exploitation of women. I am impressed with what I just read on your blog about Jennifer Lawrence. Good for you! My hope for my girls (especially my teenager) is that they can hear voices like yours, someone closer to their age who isn’t their mother, to model. My teen is not allowed to have FB, so she can’t really follow SPARK…that’s how I found you. Do you have any suggestions about how I can keep her tuned in to this conversation on a regular basis?
On another note, may I suggest that you outline the scrolling photos on your page called, “Powered by Girl Library of Really” in some other way? It’s not clear why you are bringing attention to this section of your page. I thought it was an advertisement and I didn’t understand why on earth you would have those kinds of ads on your page.
Keep doing what you’re doing!
Hi Maureen,
Thank you so much for your kind words! if your older daughter is on Tumblr or Twitter, she can follow us there: twitter.com/SPARKsummit & sparkamovement.tumblr.com. Otherwise, her best bet is probably to just keep an eye on our website, which is updated a few times a week.
Also, we hear you on the Library of Really. It’s something we’ve been talking about internally for a while and we have plans to move it to somewhere less in-your-face and with more context in our next minor website overhaul, which will be happening sometime in the next couple of weeks.
-SPARK
I love this piece. I’ve had the worst girl crush on her for a while and the more I see of her the more I truly admire her. I hope she stays strong willed.